"And they urged Him, saying, "Stay with us, for it is getting toward evening, and the day is now nearly over. And He went in to stay with them."
-Luke 24:29
Jesus followers wanted to be with Jesus. When He was around things made sense. Well, maybe not total sense, but they were ok with not understanding everything because the moments they spent with Him they were more intrigued by what He had to say than their own doubts, fears, short-comings and misconceptions. They felt more complete, they hung on His words, they were drawn to Him.
Sometimes me and Jesus seem like oil and water. I try to pour myself into Him, or open myself up for Him to pour into me, but in the supposed intimacy of the moment it seems we are close but not mixing, face to face but not interacting, I am listening but not hearing. Sometimes I even get skittish, my attention darts left or right to more "important things". I am not always comfortable in Jesus' presence. I know I should be, but some days I try to avoid truly being with Him. How crazy is it that in this text, though He was not recognized by the disciples, no reason for them to act like anything other than themselves they genuinely wanted to be with Him.... In the presence of a nobody, a stranger to them, the disciples urged the disguised Jesus to stay with them. His words were dense, complex, passionate, truthful, eternal. The scripture to follow later in the text says that their very hearts burned as He spoke to them (vs32). I want that....Could it be that my image of Jesus many times is wrong? How is it that the disciples in all their mess ups, in all their misunderstanding, in all their imperfections desired nothing more than to be around Jesus. To hear His voice, to listen to His promises. To know Him more. The image I have of Him is a partial mosaic created by some truth, other peoples ideas, bad teaching and preaching, personal preference, experiences and a little bit of my earthly father. Not a terrible version of Jesus, but not at all Him. Many times the person I am running away from, avoiding, is not Jesus at all. May I today and the rest of my days have a burning in my heart when You speak to me. When I think about being with you may I smile, and know that it is in you I am complete. May I not be discouraged by believing the lie that you seek a complete version of me; that I can somehow create and have yet to master. I am reminded of when Peter saw you after your Resurrection. (John 21:7) How he jumped out of the boat and ran to you.... He had denied you and rejected you, he was filled with shame and disappointment, but when He saw that it was you on the shore He jumped, swam and ran to be with You. Jesus may I do the same. Will you stay a little longer, may my heart burn when you speak into my life. May I cease to avoid, run, hide from this version of you I have created. This version of you that makes me feel awkward and ashamed about my imperfections, quirks and shortcomings- the same ones you gave your life to pay for. May I realize that your presence is where I belong, where I want to be and may nothing ever make me believe otherwise.
-Luke 24:29
Jesus followers wanted to be with Jesus. When He was around things made sense. Well, maybe not total sense, but they were ok with not understanding everything because the moments they spent with Him they were more intrigued by what He had to say than their own doubts, fears, short-comings and misconceptions. They felt more complete, they hung on His words, they were drawn to Him.
Sometimes me and Jesus seem like oil and water. I try to pour myself into Him, or open myself up for Him to pour into me, but in the supposed intimacy of the moment it seems we are close but not mixing, face to face but not interacting, I am listening but not hearing. Sometimes I even get skittish, my attention darts left or right to more "important things". I am not always comfortable in Jesus' presence. I know I should be, but some days I try to avoid truly being with Him. How crazy is it that in this text, though He was not recognized by the disciples, no reason for them to act like anything other than themselves they genuinely wanted to be with Him.... In the presence of a nobody, a stranger to them, the disciples urged the disguised Jesus to stay with them. His words were dense, complex, passionate, truthful, eternal. The scripture to follow later in the text says that their very hearts burned as He spoke to them (vs32). I want that....Could it be that my image of Jesus many times is wrong? How is it that the disciples in all their mess ups, in all their misunderstanding, in all their imperfections desired nothing more than to be around Jesus. To hear His voice, to listen to His promises. To know Him more. The image I have of Him is a partial mosaic created by some truth, other peoples ideas, bad teaching and preaching, personal preference, experiences and a little bit of my earthly father. Not a terrible version of Jesus, but not at all Him. Many times the person I am running away from, avoiding, is not Jesus at all. May I today and the rest of my days have a burning in my heart when You speak to me. When I think about being with you may I smile, and know that it is in you I am complete. May I not be discouraged by believing the lie that you seek a complete version of me; that I can somehow create and have yet to master. I am reminded of when Peter saw you after your Resurrection. (John 21:7) How he jumped out of the boat and ran to you.... He had denied you and rejected you, he was filled with shame and disappointment, but when He saw that it was you on the shore He jumped, swam and ran to be with You. Jesus may I do the same. Will you stay a little longer, may my heart burn when you speak into my life. May I cease to avoid, run, hide from this version of you I have created. This version of you that makes me feel awkward and ashamed about my imperfections, quirks and shortcomings- the same ones you gave your life to pay for. May I realize that your presence is where I belong, where I want to be and may nothing ever make me believe otherwise.
3 comments:
Mmmm. Lately I have just felt that all my failures and sin have over clouded Jesus and I am just ashamed to KEEP apologizing and KEEP trying to repent when in reality, it is grace that saves us. I think we all have this instinction that allows us not to want to receive free charity. We all have this mentality of wanting to fix our own faults when we CAN'T. That is what grace is all about. Praise the God who loves us no matter how faulty we are. Good thought bro. Love ya.
wow! a comment on something other than the OEC! For real... There is just something about Jesus that we are missing. How crazy is it that our churches are filled with people who Jesus probably wouldn't of hung out with, yet the are barren of the type of people he spent his life with. We are all messed up and so is everybody in church but there is just this feeling that we can't have issues anymore and that those with open issues are not the mainstream. Not sure where I am right now but He is speaking into my life about Grace alot lately...probably because I am in increasing need of it...:)
I need grace more than anything right now. I've been thinking a lot about going into the ministry and just wondering, "really God? me out of ALL people??" I just feel like I am not worthy of preaching the Word at all when most of my motives are against it, you know? So, so difficult. But slowly... and I do mean slowly, I am coming back to the One who does not call the qualified, but qualifies the called. And yes, I do think of other thoughts OTHER than O.E.C.!! But rarely! ;D
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